It's just not meant to be

Yesterday was a sad day. The final voyage for a tight-knit group of adventurers and their brilliant tour guide. Our group was really close after just one week together. But as is the case there are always certain people who will miss each other more than others. That was the case for me and it was obvious for our group that I was pretty close with Karina and vice versa. It sucks you can get attached to someone before realising after this you may never see them again. It's the only bad thing about trips like this.

So that made the final day a little torturous and we drove from Yucca Valley into Los Angeles. It was a pretty quiet ride and that, fortunately and unfortunately, gave me plenty of time to think of all the good times I'd had during the trip. The unfortunate bit was realising after today it was all over. I spent a lot of time thinking how the goodbye would go. What should I say? What should I do? It's not like I've never had to say goodbye to someone before. Why would this be any harder than those times?

It was all put to one side for a moment when we approached LA and had a bit of a look through the Hollywood Hills and Karina and I walked along Hollywood Boulevard for a bit around Mann's Chinese Theatre and the Kodak Theatre. It was pretty hectic down there. It was a bit too crowded for me and if you knew me well enough you would know Hollywood wouldn't be a place I'd enjoy. I know that sounds kind of ironic I don't like crowd when at the same time I love attending massive sporting events. So it was back in the van and to our hotel.

And now for something completely different...

They reserved one for me. Not that I have Hollywood aspirations.

Our tour guide then dropped us all at nearby Venice Beach shortly after we all checked in. Karina, Toby and I farewelled the remaining people in the group (although we all later met up again at the hotel bar) and we decided to walk along the waterfront to Santa Monica Beach. It was the relaxing walk I was looking for to end the trip but you could feel it in everyone - the final goodbyes were inching ever closer. Most of the conversation was silence-breaking. At one stage we probably walked 15-20 minutes without saying a word. It was strange. We got to the famous Santa Monica Pier (the end of Route 66) and had fish and chips (awful service I might add - I waited an hour for mine) and even caught a glimpse of the eclipse, which was conveniently shrouded in a heavy enough layer of cloud to allow people to view it safely, before heading back to the hotel.

Venice Beach. Looks like a beach. A bit cold though.

Santa Monica Pier

 

Now I had to get a photo of Karina with her camera, because she took almost twice as many photos as I did in that week!

Eclipse!!!

I had a final drink with tour leader Abby and fellow tourists Andrew, Gillian, Katrina, Anita and Toby (Jesse who I shared a room with all tour had left earlier) that night and eventually most of them left for a nearby bar. It left Karina and I to say our final goodbyes. I walked her to her room (no, it's not going there people) and we sat and talked for at least an hour and just put some things into perspective. She said there were still a few things she had to work out. I won't go into them. But she made points about not making our time together 'complicated', trying not to think about it too much (I overthink everything) and how sometimes it's just not meant to be. It's reasoning you can't argue with. We said how there would always be Facebook, which is some consolation. But it won't be the same as being there in someone's presence. There were long periods of silence - again - but we seemed content with it. We both could have sat there all night. But at some stage I had to go. I was starting to get chills towards that time. So we got up and said our farewells and that we'd miss each other and how we'd meet again soon and there were a couple of hugs (I was a little worried I wouldn't let go) and I started walking out. We had a final look at each other... and I turned and walked down the hallway. When her door closed it was tough. The sound of the door completely filled the hallway. It's so hard to describe. But it just felt so loud, so painful. So final. That was it.
Hopefully I can find something good out of it. Karina lives in the US at the moment but she's heading back to Peru soon. I never really thought about going to South America but this could be an excuse to. Maybe I'll try to learn Spanish and head over there in a few years. I've never really had a use for a second language.

But I have to thank everyone from friends, work colleagues and family for encouraging me to do something else along with my tornado trip. If I didn't get all these suggestions from you all I would never have been able to meet such special people and get those amazing memories. This blog is for all of you!

But despite the pain of saying goodbye, tomorrow should be an exciting day because I get to catch up with four people I haven't seen in more than a year in Dave, Shanda, Melissa and Val! I'm told things are looking pretty good for some storms so that's exciting. Next time I blog, I'll be on the road... somewhere!

PS - I understand some of you think you have to make anonymous posts when you leave comments. Not so! Instead of clicking anonymous click Name/URL above it in the drop-down menu, enter your name only and voila.